Why You Must Make “The Ask” To Get What You Want

If someone else has something you want, how do you get access to it?

You ask.

Sounds simple right? Well, it is.

It doesn’t mean they’ll say yes but asking is the best place to start.

It’s amazing though how many of us avoid making “the ask.” Perhaps it’s because when you ask for something there is a 50/50 chance you’ll get told no instead of yes. And most of us don’t like hearing no, it hurts our feelings and makes us feel rejected.

But… if you don’t ask then there’s a 100% chance you won’t get what you want.

Which is worse? Having your ego hit with a “no” or always wondering what could have been IF you had only asked? What if they had said yes?

In my line of work I make “the ask” a lot and I’ve learned how to hear yes with greater frequency but I still hear my fair share of no’s. In fact, the no’s almost always outweigh the yes’s but I don’t focus on that. I focus on learning from the no’s and applying what I’ve learned so I can have a better chance at a yes the next time.

You can too but it starts with making the ask.

  • Maybe for you it’s asking your favorite blogger if you can write a guest post for their blog.
  • Or perhaps it’s coordinating a promotional campaign for your book or product which involves asking others to partner with you in some way.
  • It could even be asking your boss for that raise or extra time off.

Whatever it is, stop waiting. Don’t let the fear of the NO become an excuse. Make “the ask” and while it’s possible you could hear a no, you could also hear a YES.

It’s worth the risk. Isn’t it?

What do you think about making the ask? Is it something that comes easy to you or do you struggle with it?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • PaulSteinbrueck

    Good post, Daniel. I would add that there's a big difference between a general, public ask and a personal one-on-one ask. Many people make their asks via mass email, blog post, printed announcement, or a verbal announcement at meeting/gathering/church service. Nothing wrong with that, but usually the response rate is poor and to succeed you've got to ask people individually.

    • Great point, which I agree with 100%. A lot of people try the bulk or impersonal approach and that doesn't work nearly as well. In fact, the mass emails (specifically) hurt the chances of hearing a yes (in most cases).